Candid frowns plastered upon wool strewn faces
Pacing crowds of sadistic races, falling from all of our assumed graces
I chase these yearning wastes, laced with inebriated vases
Get a taste of this destructive haste, and hate it
We display our greed by holding all the aces
Acing cases of public humiliation, one pathetic life span at a time
Digging holes, I’m just digging holes in my foundations
Revelations, mirrored by the reckless abandon that I aim toward my aspirations
Preparation for careless incantations
Sex and cigarettes
Sex and cigarettes
Sex and cigarettes
Sex and cigarettes
David Thao is missing his c-c-cash and I am missing my s-s-sanity
My vanity is a monopoly played by mahogany, psychopathic tragedies
My cult is under your skin, my cult is under your thoughtful delusions
Break the reservations of my intrusions
All I wanted was to rule over the world
I just wanted to rule over you
It isn’t about control, it’s about being the reason for your do
Betray the trust I put in your sobriety
Let’s celebrate the freedom you have in me
The shape of everything is the shape of the universe and I can see god in the midst of my knee caps
(I harbor him in the smallest of places)
But you only like the chases, ignoring the speed of your paces
Come on, don’t be so common in your obsessions
I only want to help you master your creations
Reincarnation has never been so massive
Made by him to come after him
Every passing tree is a storybook
Childhood memories collapsing around themselves
Put it back on the shelf
Shelf it, please my dear
Withhold the fear
Lord, my soul to keep? I’ll have to find it first.
This roadtrip isn’t cheap. I’ll have to rent the hearse
Before I die.
Second hand thoughts swimming through a second hand cotton weave
Trying times poking holes in the fabric, kindred energy for hindered spirits
I will my ready mind to assist you
I ready my will to stain your flesh
I want to tear through your heart with ontological quartz
Diamonds forged out of confidence
Pontiac children playing chicken on the highway
We came from riches and convenience
We’ve dwindled down to nothing and endless trial
I can’t even acknowledge the strength in our personified armor,
continuously evolving in our self fulfilling prophecies
You don’t care
You don’t judge
Everybody happens to stare
at you because you’re so much
than what they even try to be
But you’re a wall of stone, emotionally hardened because you
stared at her beautiful face for far too long
And now they see you as this abyss of nothing
you are absolutely everything they want to be
you harbor none of the traits they want to keep
And you ask yourself if it was worth it
because now they’re not afraid to leave,
they know they won’t
They don’t see your tears, because you only cry behind closed doors
They don’t see you shiver, because you’re too cynical
to forget your umbrella during a heavy storm
of memories lost and shoved away because they’re
too much work to try and keep around
forget about those you once loved and were proud of
Put up more barriers to keep them sealed up
in your pocket
for when you may try to come back around for them
You know they’ll accept you
You’re far too daunting and intoxicating for them to deny you
of even one conversation
Let’s play catch up
Remember when you put a packet of ketchup in my seat
I sat down and it went all over my white sweater
do you remember
I never forgot, even though I forgave you immediately after
I never even confronted you
You thought I didn’t notice
You hated my guts, even though you wanted to be my first kiss
just a year earlier
You were mad because I didn’t feel the same way
Little did you know, little miss muffin hadn’t been getting
in the back of the bus
behind the computer tables
in the hallway while class was in and she just had to take a piss
The others weren’t shy about wanting to be her first kiss
except that’s not all they were after
She developed a little faster
All the boys were seeing
first hand the things they saw in magazines
their fathers bought
Her mother always told her that if she didn’t want someone touching her
to punch them in the face
So she became a little meaner, a disgrace
to her gender
Baggier clothes came with expressions of anger
A bully, they called her
It happened once before, but last time was truer, this time
she just wanted some peace and quiet
they wouldn’t leave her alone, so she thought that maybe if she cut
all her hair off
maybe they’d stop treating her like a woman,
but like a little boy
maybe then, even her father would start to talk to her again
It’s funny how things change
Some things stay the same
but there are these drastic
life events that take turns you don’t even expect
they didn’t teach you this in school, you had to figure it out
on your own
in your room
They used to think you were this stupid girl with fishnet hoes and
weird colored hair
But now here
you are, they all boast about how intelligent you are
a mind like no other
and oh, how you’ve got class now
Some of them see you walking down the street and they don’t even
they can’t even see past your magnetized
And when they speak to you, they don’t even know what you’re saying
they look baffled and confused that you could even sound that
It’s funny how things change
but some things don’t
they stay the same, mirroring your past and reminding you
of the things they used to say about you
You still have those curves
And god, don’t you know how to please
You’re just easy
because you turned into a boy and apparently, they’re all sleazy
You’re living out of boxes but your mind has flatlined.
The three dimension’s gone and you don’t know if time… is the answer this time.
It even seems to be your greatest demon.
Your own life committing treason.
Against its own authority; “it’s clearly about control and it’s all about me”.
Hazards are a toll.
But you swear you have boundaries.
Listen, to Heaven’s screams.
The pearly gates are burning at the seams.
But you’re asleep now, just not for long.
You’ll wake up and remember everything that went wrong.
Cry me a river. You pathetic piece of scum.
You hate it when he leaves but you love it when he cums.
You love yourself. But you hate your humanity.
You turned into a calculating machine but started losing your sanity.
You’ve made it worse.
Abstract thinking was a blessing but it became a curse when you tried to expand it further.
The objectivity is gone and you’ve gone full circle.
You used to see in rainbow but now it’s just black, blue, and purple.
Every thought, an act of violence.
Meant to remind them of the mental dominance that you do so cling onto.
You’ve downgraded in your upgrade.
Phases and progress turn into stifling trade.
One for the other.
Abandon your brother.
Brethren of circumstance, able to fade into fodder.
There is no true importance.
It’s not even worth it.
And how they praise you now.
Hiding under tight smiles and guilty eyebrows.
They always said you were the brightest of the family.
But you started making the same choices they did at your age and suddenly
you’re beneath them.
So sleep on that paper thin mattress.
Lose your things in the unfamiliar cracks
lose yourself in the process.
The only thing they can’t take from you is your mind.
Try to keep hold of that, even throughout that old daily grind.
Relive the passions that you let go of.
Become the person that you used to dream up.
You haven’t forgotten her, have you?
Of course you haven’t, she’s the one that’s harbored the power that you put on hold.
God, she’s such a fucking piece of gold.
Remember when she would whisper to you?
Because I certainly do.
Lavender and silver spoons.
Traces of your fingerprints.
Unleash the harpoons, time to fish for your broken spirit.
But you can feel that annoying
of your healing wounds.
It’s difficult for you to hold conversation now.
Riddled with new worldviews and hovering doubt.
Everything is a question; you remember when you used to hate that. You used to want answers but now they’re flooding out of your magicians hat.
Maybe if you could just agree with one of them before your neurons collapse.
Everything is playing double dutch with your strings of mental thought. How many coins did that branded opinion cost?
I’m quite sure that you can’t afford it.
Hello long-time-no-talk-toer. What’s shackalackin’?
She drank the message I left in her bottle.
Ill health always at full throttle.
There was never a moment she could see,
the current in the ocean that she was causing.
The towers above her mirrored windows of opportunity.
The reflections in the glass were far too daunting.
Wouldn’t it be easier to drink the stars away?
Reel in the dead fish; they make easier prey.